Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I use my feet as sexual weapons
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize