Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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