I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
