Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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