Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
