we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
