I faked an abortion last night.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wish i was in the wii world.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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