I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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