doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
