her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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