The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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