I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
