Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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