So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
