ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
