on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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