My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
