how can u be prego again
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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