I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
