I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
