Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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