Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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