Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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