Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
should my penis look like a turkey
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I can't put those talents on a resume
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
