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Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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