idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
