He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
