Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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