and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
