If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
