dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
