Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
