Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
