I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
