real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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