a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
