i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize