i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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