you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
