So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
