just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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