And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize