...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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