Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
