i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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