i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
