Buhtt sex?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I wish there were birth control emojis
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize