Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
