"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
