anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
The ass gains better be worth it
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