You don't have asthma, your pregnant
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize