I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
handjob tips. give me some.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
