im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My ass is underappreciated
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
