It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Still dying that you shit outside
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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