Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
