Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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