Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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