oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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