Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
