"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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