guys are only as good as the porn they watch
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
