i'm signing you up for texting rehab
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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