I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
