My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize