pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
